My Totally Rockin' New York Party

October 6th, 2008

Dear Diary,

OMG, my book party was totally awesome!   You should have seen me!   I looked really really hot–like Paris Hilton hott only much classier ’cause she’s kind of skanky.  I wore my kind-of-new-but-not-really-cause-I-wore-it-on-the-cruise-but-at-least-I didn’t-spill-anything-on-it black dress from–you know, the Park Vogel one with the gathers and the tie-front?  it’s kind of plain but I wore it with my Stuart Weitzman fuschia spike heels–the ones with the big black bows?–and those so totally rocked that it was like wow!  Like people couldn’t believe I could even WALK in them and not only could I walk, I was like so hip and cool and my feet looked like Heidi Klum’s, I swear to GOD.

(I kind of think I look like Heidi Klum all over, actually, except she’s blonder, and I think it’s true because whenever we watch Project Runway I say to my husband, “Don’t I look like her except not blonde?” and he always agrees with me and I don’t see why he would if he didn’t think it was true.)

Anyway, so I looked totally rockin’ and then I went to the party which was at Stuart Weitzman’s shoe store in Columbus Circle (which is like a traffic circle, not, you know a sculpture of a circle with C. Columbus in it, or anything) and the party was right THERE, with all the shoes and boots and stuff around us and I wanted all of them–I mean, my mouth was watering just looking at all the leather or leathah as they say in New York or New Yawk as they say in New York.

There was lots of wine there and food.  They were still setting up when I got there cause I was early but even though I was there early a lot of my family was already there because, OMG, my family has to get everywhere at least ten minutes too early.  Like the next morning?  I was meeting my father for breakfast at 9?  And he calls my sister who was with me at 8:59 to say, “Where are you?” and we were a block from the restaurant and we walk in at exactly 9 and I’m like, “Dude.  We’re not late.  You don’t call people at 8:59 when you’re meeting them at 9.  I mean really.  Come on.”

But anyway like tons of my family was there and my family’s BIG so it’s a lot of people when a ton of them come to something.  All my sisters and my brother came and everyone looked really nice and no one said, “Hey, your hair’s too long, you should cut it” like they usually do or “Are you wearing THAT?” or “I thought we were going somewhere nice.”  So here’s a picture of me and my sisters and my brother:

Me and my sisters and my brother
Me and my sisters and my brother

Can you tell which one is me?  People say I look just like my sisters and it doesn’t even matter which sister I’m with, they say it no matter what.  My sisters don’t look as much like Heidi Klum as I do, though.  At least my husband says they don’t and why would he lie about that?  My brother is WAY better-looking than Seal though.  No offense to Seal who must be a pretty rockin guy to get to be married to Heidi Klum and have like a thousand kids with her.

ANYWAY, so we had this party and there were cool people there, like this one Famous Person who I won’t say who he is because if I were a Famous Person I would HATE having people act all weird around me like I wasn’t normal anymore.  I bet Heidi Klum gets really tired of people getting all weird around HER, but I don’t think Tim Gunn gets weird because he’s kind of all even-tempered and good-natured and “carry on” and everything.  There was also a girl at the party who got really drunk and it was kind of funny at first and then it stopped being funny and got kind of lame and tired. 
But mostly people were cool at the party, like my editors and agent and all my family, and I read a little from my book because my big sister said, “You have to read” and that meant I had to.  (My big sisters boss me around a lot and it’s like not even worth arguing?  You know?  Because big sisters always win in the end.  They get the best rooms and the front seat in the car, too.  But you get to stay younger longer if you’re the youngest so that’s kind of cool.  I think that’s how it works, anyway.) 
Then the party was over, like really suddenly, and everyone was packing up the food (which looked really good but I couldn’t eat cause you know how when you’re at a party and talking to people you never get to eat until after everyone leaves but if it’s not at your house you don’t get to do the part where you sit and eat after everyone goes which is actually the BEST part of a party and makes it worth doing at your house but this was at the shoe store) and the people who were cleaning up said, “You’re the guest of honor so you don’t have to,” and I liked that, except then I had to go back to the hotel and watch the VP debate which was like so BORING because no one said anything stupid and I was really rooting for someone to say something stupid or crazy but they just sounded like they’d been memorizing stuff for like YEARS and it’s like just go act on the stage if you want to MEMORIZE stuff.  Like how many times can you just ignore questions and make a little speech that you already knew you were going to make?
Heidi Klum says stuff spontaneously on “Project Runway.”  Like she’ll say, “That looks awful” or “Did you hear what she said to me?” and I think she totally made up the “Auf Wiedersehen” thing–like no one TOLD her to go around saying that.  Heidi rocks.  And I’d say that even if I didn’t look just like her, only brunette.
Anyway, New York was awesome, and I’m going to write loads more about it but now I’m SO tired because the time difference just KILLS you, so good night, good night, dear Diary, sleep tight . . .