Dear Diary,
OMG, my book party was totally awesome! You should have seen me! I looked really really hot–like Paris Hilton hott only much classier ’cause she’s kind of skanky. I wore my kind-of-new-but-not-really-cause-I-wore-it-on-the-cruise-but-at-least-I didn’t-spill-anything-on-it black dress from bluefly.com–you know, the Park Vogel one with the gathers and the tie-front? it’s kind of plain but I wore it with my Stuart Weitzman fuschia spike heels–the ones with the big black bows?–and those so totally rocked that it was like wow! Like people couldn’t believe I could even WALK in them and not only could I walk, I was like so hip and cool and my feet looked like Heidi Klum’s, I swear to GOD.
(I kind of think I look like Heidi Klum all over, actually, except she’s blonder, and I think it’s true because whenever we watch Project Runway I say to my husband, “Don’t I look like her except not blonde?” and he always agrees with me and I don’t see why he would if he didn’t think it was true.)
Anyway, so I looked totally rockin’ and then I went to the party which was at Stuart Weitzman’s shoe store in Columbus Circle (which is like a traffic circle, not, you know a sculpture of a circle with C. Columbus in it, or anything) and the party was right THERE, with all the shoes and boots and stuff around us and I wanted all of them–I mean, my mouth was watering just looking at all the leather or leathah as they say in New York or New Yawk as they say in New York.
There was lots of wine there and food. They were still setting up when I got there cause I was early but even though I was there early a lot of my family was already there because, OMG, my family has to get everywhere at least ten minutes too early. Like the next morning? I was meeting my father for breakfast at 9? And he calls my sister who was with me at 8:59 to say, “Where are you?” and we were a block from the restaurant and we walk in at exactly 9 and I’m like, “Dude. We’re not late. You don’t call people at 8:59 when you’re meeting them at 9. I mean really. Come on.”
But anyway like tons of my family was there and my family’s BIG so it’s a lot of people when a ton of them come to something. All my sisters and my brother came and everyone looked really nice and no one said, “Hey, your hair’s too long, you should cut it” like they usually do or “Are you wearing THAT?” or “I thought we were going somewhere nice.” So here’s a picture of me and my sisters and my brother:
Can you tell which one is me? People say I look just like my sisters and it doesn’t even matter which sister I’m with, they say it no matter what. My sisters don’t look as much like Heidi Klum as I do, though. At least my husband says they don’t and why would he lie about that? My brother is WAY better-looking than Seal though. No offense to Seal who must be a pretty rockin guy to get to be married to Heidi Klum and have like a thousand kids with her.

