Why Won’t My Kids Read My Favorite Old Books?
Note: I’ve been bad about posting on this blog and I know it. It’s just that with various kids home (the camp situation is sporadic), I don’t have a lot of time for writing these days and the little I have goes to the projects that have deadlines. So forgive me. No matter how little I actually post here, I am still happy to receive emails through this blog and will always respond to them.
The following is a post from my other blog, www.bookstorepeople.com.
Right now my 9-year-old is working his way through The Phantom Tollbooth–arguably the most influential book of my childhood–and when I hear him chortling in glee or he comes running in to read me a funny passage, my heart leaps with the pleasure of knowing my child is coming to love a book I too loved when I was his age.
I have to stop to savor the moment because it’s so frigging rare.
I have tried over and over again to interest my children in the books that I loved when I was a kid, and over and over again I’ve found myself defeated, sometimes in the starting stages (”This just doesn’t look good to me”) but more often–because they’re good kids who do want to please me–after a few pages or even a few chapters have been essayed. The two main complaints? “It’s boring” and “It’s too hard.”
I’ve discussed the first issue with a lot of people, including our wonderful lower school librarian, and we all agree that the issue is probably that most books being written for kids today just bristle with action. From Harry Potter to The Lightning Thief to more girly books like Ella Enchanted or even something like The Clique, modern kids’ books start at a frantic pace and don’t let up. They’re plot-driven and full of action and as soon as our heroes get out of one adventure they’re plunked face down in the next. An adventure doesn’t have to be anything mystical or epic, of course–it can be a date or a job or a school test. The point is just that there’s little time for introspection or character development because so damn much is always going on. Continue reading this entry »
Finally, A Word Game I Can Love
It’s Scrabble-icious!
People always think I should like playing Scrabble. The reasoning goes: “You’re a writer, you were an English literature major in college, you clearly like words, therefore you must like any game that involves playing with them.”
And maybe I would like playing Scrabble if it weren’t for those annoying other people who I have to play with, chief among them my husband who, while a wonderful guy in many, many ways, is so unbelievably annoying when it comes to playing board games that I pretty much refuse to play with him anymore. His main fault? The fact that he actually cares about winning and will resort to–ugh!–actual thoughtfulness toward that end, an attitude that wins him nothing but disdain from his wife who favors speed above success when it comes to doing, well, anything.
He takes roughly an hour to make a move, deliberating over not just which word will win him the most points, but what placement will leave me with the fewest openings. Heaven forbid he should allow me free access to a triple-letter score, let alone a triple-word one. No, by golly! If it takes him all day–and it does, Oscar, it does–he will find a way to squeeze some obscure word he can’t even define up against the existing words in such a way that all I can do is add an “a” before a “t” to make a two-point “at.”
Well, maybe I could do better than that, but I’d have to sit and study the board and think about it for a while and why would I want to do that? This is supposed to be fun, right? I spend my days staring at words, trying to make them work better. It’s what I do. So I don’t see any reason to torture myself in a similar way during my free time. Continue reading this entry »
TheTop Ten Classics That You Should Read for Your Own Enjoyment
Sometimes they’re just plain fun
My son announced yesterday that his school-assigned summer reading this year is Dickens’ Great Expectations. “I love Dickens,” I said, “but that’s not my favorite.” Apparently, the teacher herself said she wasn’t a huge fan of the book but felt it was something people “should” read which made me a little sad. The whole thing about Dickens is that he’s fun. A good Dickens novel is the best escapism there is–his books are exciting and fast-paced and romantic and play on your emotions in a way that leaves you vowing to be a better person.
I love Dickens but my least favorite novels are the ones that teachers tend to assign–e.g. Great Expectations, Oliver Twist, A Tale of Two Cities. Too many teachers (and subsequently their students) act like the classics belong to the vegetable category of the reading pyramid: you need to read them, they’re good for you, you’ll be better off if you just accept them as a necessity, but they’re not going to be anywhere near as enjoyable as the sugary treats we all crave. Unfortunately, the “healthy but not tasty” label becomes self-fulfilling when teachers lazily or unknowingly assign the least fun books in the canon of British and American classic literature for their kids to read.
I’m not an English teacher (well, I was once for one year, but that’s a long story) but it seems to me that it would benefit everyone if instead of assigning classics that are difficult for a teenager to plow through, an effort were made to assign the really fun works of literature. And those do exist. Literature is not by nature stuffy and miserable. Our modern tastes, cultivated by youtube and Dan Brown, may be so accustomed to fast moving, densely plotted books and movies that a lot of older books do feel slow and uninvolving. But don’t forget that Dickens, the Brontes, and many other authors from previous centuries were writing to amuse, not to enlighten, and, if you choose the right books to read, you can have more fun tromping through London and the moors with one of our distinguished classical authors than you might with a badly written thriller or modern romance.
So I’ve put a list together of my top ten truly fun classics that are worth curling up with, not because they’ll educate and enlighten you but because they’ll make the hours pass in pure escapist joy. Some of these you may have read. But try the ones you haven’t. (And, please, if you have any favorite “fun” classics, write in and let us know so we can all add them to our to-read lists.)
By the way, I’m not including Austen–everyone already loves her.
1. Good Dickens. Like I said, some Dickens is better than others. My top favorites are, in no particular order, Bleak House, Our Mutual Friend, Little Dorrit and Hard Times. They’re engrossing, surprisingly modern in outlook (I defy you not to recognize people you know in many of the characters), and far better than their more famous siblings. Continue reading this entry »
Sleep and the City
What women really talk about when they get together
I enjoy watching old episodes of “Sex and the City” as much as the next woman of a certain age. (The movie not so much, although I did manage to watch the whole thing on HBO in the same way I can eat an entire bag of stale potato chips–more out of hope and habit than enjoyment). Anyway, it’s fun, right? These four attractive women of a certain age (an age that gets “certainer” as the series progresses) get together regularly for brunch, shopping expeditions, and cocktails to talk about men. And sex. And men having sex with them. And them having sex with men. And so on.
It’s fun to watch (you can catch reruns on cable) because it’s such a friggin’ fantasy. I am a woman of a certain age. I have female friends who support me and whom I cherish. Want to know what our conversations over a meal sound like?
Sure, you do. Here’s a sample:
“I can’t see the menu. Is it dark in here or is it just me?”
“I can’t read a word of it, either.”
“It’s not the light, it’s our eyes. Here–” Takes out a pair of reading glasses. “I bring these everywhere I go. Who wants them first?”
The reading glasses are passed around, amid exclamations of delight at how suddenly the obscure writing becomes clear. There is general agreement we should all keep a pair in our purses.
Did a Radio Interview
I have a weird voice
The couple of times I’ve done radio interviews, the main thing I’ve gotten out of it is what a weird voice I have. High and squeaky. I go into a sort of adrenalin-rush hazy state when I’m talking, so I always wonder if I said anything coherent or just sounded like a crazy woman.
Last night, I did an interview for Autism Talk Radio and I’m hopeful I didn’t COMPLETELY sound insane. I know we covered a lot of topics so, with any luck, I actually remembered and passed on some of the amazing advice Dr. Koegel gives in our book Growing Up on the Spectrum.
Autism Talk Radio interviews are available through iTunes and via their website. Here’s what the host has to say about it:
There is a brand-new episode of Autism Talk Radio available by refreshing your iTunes or listening directly on our website.
On today’s show, we feature a fascinating interview with author ClaireLaZenik. Claire LaZebnik is the co-author, with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel PhD, of two books about autism, Overcoming Autism: Finding the Answers, Strategies and Hope That Can Transform a Child’s Life (Viking/Penguin) and the recently published
Growing Up on the Spectrum: A Guide to Life, Love, and Learning for Teenagers and Young Adults with Asperger’s and Autism (Viking/Penguin).
On today’s show, you’ll discover:
>>Specific methods for working with kids on the spectrum in terms of achieving life skills
>>Keys to successful friendship, dating/love, improving daily life for those on the spectrum
>>What you need to know about teaching issues pertaining to sexuality
>>How to recognize and exploit your child’s strengths in difficult social settings
>>What to expect post-college: jobs, housing, managing monthly payments, marriage/relationships
One episode at a time,
Steve Prussack
Host of Autism Talk Radio
Another Argument for TV
But it all starts with the books
(Note: this post was originally written for my other blog www.bookstorepeople.com.)
I was close to tears. It had happened twice. The first time I sat down to watch the premiere episode of the Masterpiece Theater version of Charles Dickens’ “Little Dorrit,” I discovered it hadn’t recorded. I was starting to panic when my daughter suggested I see if it was playing again. Sure enough, I found it on another channel later that week and set the recorder. But when I went to watch that recording, a different show appeared–and there were no more showing. Twice thwarted in something I had been looking forward to, I had to struggle not to cry about a stupid TV show in front of my daughter. What kind of example would that be for her?
It’s just . . . my life is busy these days, which is nice, but sometimes overwhelming. It’s so hard to find something that makes me purely and entirely happy, that doesn’t drain me or make me think of the ten thousand million other things I should be doing. Sadly, I have so much obligatory reading these days–my daughter’s school book club, manuscripts people have asked me to blurb or review, novels my editors have suggested I read for inspiration, etc–and while much of it can be enjoyable, I still feel pressure to push through everything quickly. And when I’m tired, sometimes I just want to stare at a screen. Continue reading this entry »
Favoritism
Is it okay to have a favorite among the books you wrote?
I have a running joke with my kids. I’ll say something about how one of them is my favorite, usually adding, “and that one knows who I mean.” The kids are well aware that parents aren’t actually allowed to have favorites, so they go along with the joke and will take turns saying things like, “Yes, I DO know who you mean.”
Of course, I don’t really have a favorite–or at least not a consistent one since my favorite at any given moment is the one being most helpful and least needy. Or cutest. Or strongest (depending on how much luggage we’re toting). Or willing to listen. Or emotionally supportive. Or kind . . . Luckily, they’re all great. And all deserving of equal attention, love, and time investment.
I was thinking about the whole concept of favoritism because today someone made a comment on my blog, saying that she had read my first novel Same As It Never Was, but not the others. I was about to write back in a comment that SAINW was my favorite novel of the ones I’ve written when I stopped myself. Was I allowed to say that? Was picking a favorite among my novels similar to picking a favorite child? Continue reading this entry »
Thinking about Swine Flu
Well, who isn’t?
So I was having lunch with two of my friends the other day when someone in the restaurant coughed. There was a pause in the conversation. We all looked at each other. One of my friends said, “Did you hear that? Are you thinking what I’m thinking-that it’s Swine Flu?”
Of course, we were all thinking that. What else are our minds going to go to these days? Even my kids are going through this-every time someone sneezes in a classroom, the rest of the class cries out, “Swine Flu!”
Oddly, though, I don’t feel particularly worried about the Swine Flu which is weird, since I’m the Official Worrier of the LaZebnik Family. My husband takes it more seriously than I do, but I think that’s because he just read a book about the huge Spanish Flu epidemic, whenever that was–he told me, but I’m not a good listener. The Spanish Flu did a job on the world, so you can’t blame him for feeling a bit nervous after absorbing all that.
Dating Your Husband
Is it possible to rise above the mess of day to day life and find your way back to a romantic relationship?
I have a couple of friends who have “date nights” with their husband. Once a week (at least), they get a babysitter and head out to have dinner and/or see a movie. They’re not allowed to make plans with other people on that night: the point is to have some alone time.
I admire them. I even envy them. What I don’t do is imitate them.
It’s not that I don’t want to–it’s just too hard. Weeknights are crazy. Crazy. Did I mention they’re crazy? Four kids (five this year with my niece staying with us), all trying to get through homework, eat dinner, have whatever lessons or appointments they might have (sometimes I think I should just put down a mattress in the orthodontist’s office and move in), deal with emotional, social, and moral crises, and score more attention from me than their siblings.
